


The Memoirs of Amanda Grayson

by AlessNox



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Love, Marriage, Politics, Pon Farr, Prejudice, Romance, Sex, Vulcan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlessNox/pseuds/AlessNox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The memories of Amanda Grayson, the human who married the Vulcan Ambassador for Earth. Marrying a Vulcan is not the life most humans would chose. This is the story of Amanda Grayson and her husband Sarek</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Amanda sees him, a shadow in the open doorway. Eyebrows swooping up and outward, dark eyes cutting into her. He stands half exposed, bisected by the wall, his eyes narrowing as he focuses on her, a predator watching his prey.

He rounds the corner striding toward her purposefully, his movements slow and steady as a pendulum. His trousers hugging his muscular legs. His robe hanging open revealing the dark skin of his chest aflush with green blood.

Her heart flutters and her chest expands. He is here, after all this time. Walking out into the open courtyard. His black hair shining in the Vulcan sun.

He reaches out and grabs her, with hands that could tear apart logs. He pulls her against his chest and looks down into her eyes as if he owns her, as if he will devour her.

She can hardly breathe.

This is the first time they've met, although they have been married for four years, living and working together. Although they have shared successes and trials, traveled from one planet to the next, been through so many things together, she has never seen this side of him, and she is so excited, she can hardly speak.

This is her husband, Sarek, as he is in _Pon Farr_.

* * *

 

Her flat on Earth is comfortable but small, as befits a minor member of the Diplomatic corps. She finds the note that has been pushed under her door. It reads.

**Humans must not consort with Devils.**

**Repent before it is too late.**

She scoffs. It is hard to believe that there are still people in this century who believe such things. It's like something from feudal times. Just because Vulcans have a superficial resemblance to demons, people believe that they are evil. As well think that Gorgans are angels because they glow.

It is not uncommon for Vulcans to receive hate mail. She has seen the messages and letters telling them to go home. It is her job to bag them and send them to Embassy Security for investigation and filing. This is the first time that she has received one herself.

Why send one now? She has served as Sarek's assistant for months. It must be because of that time she'd adjusted the Vulcan Ambassador's collar before his speech. A reporter had caught it on camera from an angle that made it look like it was more than it was. The report had been pure lies, waxing on about a relationship between the Vulcan Ambassador and his human aide. But it was nothing, how could it be? Ambassador Sarek is a Vulcan.

To be honest, there is some justification for the view. Vulcans are notoriously jealous of their personal space. But what the reporter failed to consider was how long the two of them have been working together. She has been his assistant for almost a year. It is logical that they would become comfortable with each other after all that time.

It was chance that had got her the assignment. Sarek's assistant Sor'suk had to return to Vulcan suddenly for a medical matter, and she was the only one with the requisite qualifications and clearances available to substitute for him. When his leave had been extended, she had stayed on. When later, the council had discussed sending a replacement, Sarek had told them that the one he currently had was adequate. She had been so happy when she'd heard, that she'd had to excuse herself so that she could jump up and down and scream.

They worked well together, Sarek and she. They had become so attuned to each other that they anticipated each others needs, thus the collar. She had noticed that it wasn't straight, and so she had stepped up and straightened it. He'd looked down at her and almost smiled, almost. Then she had stepped back and resumed her place. There was something about him. It made her feel calm just to stand at his side.

He had chosen her because she was efficient, and because having humans on his staff made the office seem more fair. It was all perfectly logical. It wasn't that the Ambassador 'liked' her. He had never done anything to suggest that his feeling for her were any more than professional. But it would be a lie to say that she wasn't attracted to him. Sarek was amazing. He was incredibly intelligent, and yet he was more sensitive than any person she'd ever known. It was such an unusual trait for a Vulcan to be so aware of others desires, but then, that was probably why he had been chosen as Ambassador. It was even rumored that he was a bit of a telepath.

She admires Ambassador Sarek greatly. His skills as a negotiator are awe inspiring. And although most Vulcans sound very monotonous when they speak, Sarek does not. His voice is deep and affective. It makes her knees weak just to hear it. Even at work, she has to take a breath to calm herself whenever he calls her name.

But what if the rumors were true? What if he were in love with her like the worst of the tabloids claimed? If he wanted her, he wouldn't have to ask twice. He could have her in a heartbeat. She can't imagine a better man than he. His eyes, his face, his mind, they are perfect. What would it have been like if after she had straightened his collar he had bent down his head and kissed her?

Nonsense! She shakes the thoughts from her head and walks over to the table to bag the note for security. It doesn't matter what people think. Sarek is a Vulcan, and Vulcans don't feel emotions.

* * *

 

Sarek‘s eyes look her up and down, his hand possessively grabbing her upper arm. His nostrils flaring. "You have been with a man today."

"Yes. I have been with you."

"Don't be flippant. I can smell another man's scent. Who was he?"

"There was a delivery. An item that I ordered some time ago arrived. A man delivered it."

"And did he touch you?"

"He passed me a box."

"But did he touch you!"

"No. He touched the box. Perhaps that is what you smell."

"Because no one else is allowed to touch you. You are mine."

He squeezes her arm with his hand, and Amanda winces pulling out of his grasp. She rubs her sleeve. The heavy red fabric smooth under her palm. "A human woman cannot be owned. She has the power to make her own choice of partner."

Sarek's teeth meet in a snarl of a smile. "But a Vulcan wife can be owned, and by our laws you have become a Vulcan citizen."

"But I have not become your property. If you want me, you must prove that you are worthy." She takes a step back, and undoes the button at her neck that holds her robe closed. "Perhaps the delivery man would make a better lover than you."

Sarek leaps forward arm outstretched, but Amanda has already turned away from him. He grabs for her, but his hands only catch her heavy robe, pulling it off of her arms as she runs light-footed across the courtyard.

Underneath the robe she is wearing the gown of a Vulcan priestess. Accurate in every detail, even to the sheer white fabric revealing the gentle curve of her pumping hips, and the long lengths of her outstretched legs. She peeks back at him and laughs picking up speed so that her blond hair flies behind her like a battle flag. Sarek grins, tossing the robe to the floor before giving chase with his strong, powerful legs.

* * *

 

"You are the Vulcan Ambassador?"

"Sarek. And you are?"

"I am Amanda Grayson."

"Your profile said that you are twenty-three Earth years. That is young, even for a human."

"You've read my profile?"

"I read the profiles of all of the diplomatic staff as soon as it became evident that I would need a replacement. It says that you were a school teacher. Do you have the requisite experience to perform this function?"

"If you read my profile, then you know that my credentials are adequate, otherwise I would not have been assigned this job."

"You are very direct in your speech."

"Yes."

"It is...unusual for a human to be so direct, especially one in the diplomatic corps."

"It is one of the reasons that I was chosen for this role. My bluntness offended the Rigellian ambassador."

"Have you ever considered that diplomacy might not be the right career for you?"

Amanda smiled. "Many times. If you'll come this way, Ambassador, the conference is just about to begin."

* * *

 It was a bit of an abuse of power downloading these files from the Vulcan database. She had used the excuse that her role would be enhanced if she knew more about Vulcan Culture, but it was flimsy at best. The truth is that she had been dying to read The tale of T'parerell ever since she had heard about the seminal work of Vulcan erotica in the Romulan annals. When she had found that it was not 'lost' as they had claimed, but just hidden deep in the Vulcan archives, she couldn't rest until she had got a copy for herself.

The tale of T'parerell was from the time before the IDIC when Vulcans let their base emotions run free without restraint. On Vulcan, it was never 'lost'. It was simply considered too vulgar for modern audiences.

She read the story on her pad with the lights turned low. It reminded her of when she had hid under the covers of her bed as a youth reading Lady Chatterley's Lover. She couldn't help imagining Vulcans she knew as characters in the story. There was the strong and violent Sorgan bonded to T'parerell against her will. In her mind, he was like the current head of Vulcan security. A stern man with a square face who was physically imposing. Then there was the gentle Superan who tended her wounds but would do nothing to free her from her station. He was like the simpering council members who promised change, but settled for the same old policies. And then there was the vailant S'Hoth who ultimately defeated Sorgan in the Kalliffee to take T'parerell as his bride. Amanda couldn't help but see Sarek as S'Hoth. She imagined him tossing away his bloodied lirpa and throwing her over his shoulder before taking her back to his room to claim her as his own. When she had finished the story, she read it again from the beginning. Eventually, it had a permanent place at her bedside.

* * *

 Amanda walked into Sarek's office to find him sitting behind the desk. She stood across from him. "What is it that you wished to talk about Abassador?"

"I shall be going to Vulcan in a few days, Miss Grayson."

Amanda nodded and pulled out her pad. "Then I will book us passage. Do you have a preference of vessel?"

"They are sending a ship from Vulcan, and I will be going alone."

"Very good. I shall clear your schedule. When will you return?"

Sarek looked up at a Amanda, his eyes soaking her in as he scanned her from head to toe. "I won't be coming back."

Amanda lowered her tablet to her side and stepped forward, "You're being reassigned?"

"I am to be examined by the high council. There has been some concern that my judgment may be faulty."

"Your Judgment? But you've just come back from two highly successful missions. You've increased stability in the entire sector. You are well-known and respected. What can they possibly question your judgment about?"

"You. They question my feelings for you. It has been suggested by some that my … attachment to you is improperly close. Some say that I might have even formed an affection for you. They say that the reason that I refuse to accept a more qualified assistant is because I have formed an emotional bond to you."

"But, that's ludicrous. They can't possibly have demoted you simply because of a few baseless rumors? They don't understand how humans love to make up stories. You must tell them that it is a misunderstanding. Will you be given a chance to contest the ruling?"

"There will be a trial of sorts to see whether I am detached enough to keep my position. A priest will meld with me to verify that my emotions are not inappropriately strong."

"Good! And once that is done, will you be allowed to return to work?"

"No."

"But, why not?"

"Because the accusations are not false. I do care for you, Miss Grayson."

Amanda sucked in a breath, her hand coming to rest above her chest. She took two deep breaths and then she dropped her hand to her side a frown forming on her face. As she said, "Ambassador Sarek, that is not kind. I know that we discussed jokes and their ability to lighten the mood among humans, but it is possible to go too far."

"I am not joking, Amanda." Sarek rose to his feet and walked around the desk. He stood right in front of her. Amanda took a step back, tears pooling in the edge of her eyes.

"Of course you're joking. Well ha, ha! It was very funny. Now if you will excuse me, I have some correspondence to see to." She turned away, her hand raising to wipe her eye, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"When the priest comes to test me, it will be all too obvious that my feelings are far from neutral. He will know beyond a doubt that I care for you greatly. He will learn that I think about you constantly, that not knowing where you are at all times gives me great distress." Sarek stepped closer to her, his eyes traveling across her face. "I have been bonded before. It is the Vulcan way to do so at a young age, a touch between her mind and mine so that we always feel the other's presence. I find myself wanting that kind of bond with you. Wanting desperately to touch your mind and show you mine. There is hardly an evening when my meditation is not disturbed by thoughts of you, but I find that I don't want to banish such thoughts. I wish to revel in them. It is a shameful thing, but thinking of you makes me want to feel. I had resolved today to say nothing of this, but when I saw you crying, I knew that I could not remain silent. I can not bear to let you think that you had harmed me. You haven't harmed me. You have taught me what no Earth ambassador before me has known." He reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek. "You taught me how all human interactions are informed by love. Even your name, Amanda means she who must be loved."

Sarek reached out two fingers and stroked her face from her cheek to her chin. Then he gave her his almost smile.

"Sarek? You...you're not joking?"

"No."

"Then, you are going away?"

"Yes."

"I love you too," she blurted out dropping her pad and reaching out to touch his chest. "Don't go. Please don't go away."

"I must go. I have a duty."

"And what will happen to you after the trial."

"Most likely I will be sent to the monastery for purification. Then I may be allowed to return."

"How long?"

"The typical stay is about ten Earth years."

"Ten years? So long? It doesn't matter. I will wait for you to return."

"Please don't," Sarek said lifting her hands from his chest. "Forgive me for this emotional outburst. It was inappropriate and uncalled for."

He started to turn away but this time it was Amanda's hands holding him back. "I'll wait for you."

"Don't. Human lives are short. Ten years is a significant fraction of your lifespan. It would be illogical to pin your hopes on an affection that cannot be returned. You should marry, have children."

"But you said that you cared for me."

"I do now, but after the training. I will not be released from the temple until it is proven my emotions are under control. This outburst will not happen again. And even if I were to feel the same, they will most likely insist that I marry before allowing me to return. There was considerable argument against sending an unbonded male off planet at the time of my appointment. This will certainly reinforce their argument."

"Then, if it is so inappropriate for an ambassador to associate with someone outside of wedlock, why don't you marry me?"

"What?"

"Marry me."

"But you are human?"

"So?"

"It has never been done."

"Didn't you say that 'Vulcans and Humans must find new ways to work together' that 'through cooperation we can multiply our strengths and diminish our shortcomings'?"

"Now you are joking."

"No I'm not," Amanda said. "Marry me."

"I cannot."

"Why not?"

"There are things about Vulcans that humans do not know, can not know, about the way we mate."

"I daresay there are some things about humans that you don't know as well, but how can we know if it will work unless we try."

"It will be hard. A human on Vulcan. You would have to learn our ways."

"And you'd have to come have dinner with my family. That will be trial enough."

"Amanda."

"Sarek, we both want the same thing. It would be a crime if we were to let the fact that it had never been done before stop us from trying."

Sarek turned to her then and gave her a real smile. She squealed and jumped up putting her arms around his neck as she gave his cheek a kiss.

"Now that is something that you will have to refrain from doing if we are to ever be accepted into Vulcan society."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"The traditional protocol for sealing such a bargain on Earth is with a kiss."

Amanda had thought that she would have to instruct Sarek on how such a thing was done, but apparently he had already studied up on this because he swept her into his arms and gave her a kiss grand enough to curl her hair. By the afternoon they'd resolved that they would never be parted again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

After the whirlwind that was their Earth wedding ceremony, an amazingly complex service that was broadcast to fifty-four planets! They finally found themselves alone, They had booked the wedding suite of a luxury hotel, but when her brother had insisted that it be scanned for monitoring devices and they had found twelve! They retired instead to their cabin on the Star Fleet vessel that would take them to their other ceremony on Vulcan.

The Vulcan assistant minister for trade had suggested separate cabins, but Amanda had quashed that idea using the legal arguments that by human law they were married, and being on a human ship, they should room together. So she felt it a victory when the door finally whooshed shut, and they were alone. She took off her coat and retired to the bathroom coming out in her lace wedding nightgown and posing dramatically by the door.

She waited for Sarek's reaction, but he only glanced at her, and then turned back to his screen to review his correspondence. She walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders kneading them beneath her fingers until Sarek said, "I do not need a massage at this time."

Amanda sighed plopping down on the bed. After a few moments, Sarek turned to her and said, "Thank you for the massage. Is that what I was supposed to say?"

Amanda rolled on her side to face away from him. He watched her, raising one eyebrow before asking, "Is there some significance to humans for the wedding night?"

Amanda rolled back to face him. "Yes."

"This point was not covered in the briefings on human culture that I received on Vulcan."

"I would guess not."

"Please enlighten me then. What normally occurs at this time."

Amanda sat up. "Do you see my clothing?"

"Yes, it is very revealing."

"And what can you infer from this?"

"Perhaps it is a sign that you have no concealed weapons." Amanda rolled her eyes. "It is a bit reminiscent of the garments that certain Vulcan priestesses wear in the temples, although those are of ancient design for ceremonial reasons. Could it be that this is also of ceremonial significance? Should I also have worn revealing clothing?"

Amanda took a moment to imagine it before shaking her head. "It has to do with sex."

Sarek turned to face her fully. "We discussed this before the wedding at length. The Vulcan mating cycle means that I will undergo Pon Farr once every seven years. You agreed that you were willing to mate with me then even with the madness. Are you reconsidering?"

"Of course I'm not reconsidering marrying you. It's just that I do not plan to go without sex for seven years just because you are not for want of a better word 'in heat'." Sarek stilled. "So, are you thinking of having sex with another human? If you deem it necessary for your health, I suppose that I could consider allowing you to..."

"No, I don't want to have sex with another man. I want to have sex with my husband."

"But Amanda, my biology."

"Sarek, do you care about me?"

"Yes, Amanda. I am very fond of you, excessively fond. This marriage has logical advantages, but even so, I would have refused to enter into it if I did not have an almost irrational pleasure in your company."

Amanda smiled, "An irrational pleasure in my company. I like that. What I meant to say was that I will continue to want to have sex with you, even if it is not your time."

"But...Amanda...I am not certain that. There are hormones, drives…."

"You don't have to do much. I'll do it myself, but human bonding has a great deal to do with touch. I would like it if we could...touch each other from time to time."

"Touch each other? Like kissing?"

"That, and other things."

"Such as."

"I want you to take off your clothing and come to bed with me."

"Alright."

Sarek rose to his feet, walked over to the wardrobe and removed his watch. He quickly and efficiently removed his clothing making sure to fold each piece and lay it in the appropriate drawer. He walked toward her then and sat on the bed before laying down on his back facing the ceiling. Amanda propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at him.

"Will you not also disrobe?"

Amanda sighed again, this was not very romantic. She stood and turned away as she removed her gown. Then she lay down beside Sarek.

"You said that you wanted to touch."

Amanda sighed again and thought of turning off the light and going to sleep, but then Sarek held out two fingers toward her. Amanda knew that this was the traditional gesture of a Vulcan for his mate, almost like a kiss. She put her first two fingers together, and touched them to his. They locked eyes and he slowly rubbed his fingers down hers and back up again. Amanda sucked in a breath. It was only a touch, but it was electric. She reached out her other hand and touched his chest. It may not have been the night that she expected, but this was shaping up to be a fascinating night.

* * *

 

She ran through the house, her husband at her heels. He had warned her of the violence of the _pon farr_ even going so far as to show her where to find drugs to subdue him if he should get out of control. They had lived in this honeymoon house for a week with Sarek showing no noticeable change at all. Their food was brought to them and left at the door. She went nowhere and no one ever visited. When she had communicated with the office to have a package sent to her, they showed surprise that she would be rational enough to converse with them. Apparently no one expected them to contact anyone until Sarek's time was over.

She had noticed it coming last night, an irritability, the snappish way that he had talked to her told her that he was almost at his time. Living on Vulcan had allowed her to greatly expand her library of erotica. She had learned that Vulcan men found certain things exciting including the temple priestesses and their sheer robes.

She had scanned one at a museum and sent the dimensions to an Earth tailor who had made her a reproduction in her size. It had arrived that morning. She'd hoped that it would excite him to lust, and she was glad to see that she was right. She refused to admit how much she wanted to feel his rough hands on her skin. How much she was looking forward to her always gentle husband losing control. He was gaining on her as she turned out of the hallway and into the rooms. He growled and she picked up speed, knowing that it would infuriate him. He said that in pon farr his blood was aflame, well Amanda was a woman who enjoyed playing with fire.

* * *

 

The human ambassador to Vulcan met her as she landed. That is where the two of them parted. Sarek had warned her about it beforehand. Although they may think themselves married, most Vulcans would not consider it to have happened until the second service had occurred. For this reason, she would remain in the Earth Embassy until the day of the wedding when she would be escorted in great ceremony to his family's marriage grounds.

A beep announced a visitor the evening before the wedding. It was Thomas, a former classmate. She offered him tea, and they drank it at the little table in her room as they discussed news about their families and acquaintances.

"So, Thom. Why don't you tell me what you really came here to say?"

"No I just..."

"Don't start. I can tell you are anxious by your posture."

"You've been around Vulcans too long. You are beginning to see things like they do."

"And I'll be around them even more after I'm married. Is that why you came here, to talk about the wedding?"

"Amanda, I don't think that you understand what you are getting yourself into."

"Now we've come to it."

"You think that you know Vulcans, but you don't. They don't show humans all that they are. There is another harsher side to them that they don't show us."

"I know."

"I once saw a Vulcan tear the panel off of a weather console. Reinforced steel! He broke the arm of a guard sent to stop him with a touch. They can kill in seconds. What they show us is only the surface."

"I'm not afraid."

"You should be. Vulcans may appear calm, but their passions are tightly held back. He might kill you."

"Sarek won't hurt me."

"You don't know that. I've heard things about the Vulcan wedding ceremony. The man you replaced to get your job, Sor'suk. He's dead."

"Dead?"

"He went to his wedding ceremony but he did not return. They claimed it was a climbing accident, and refused to tell us more about what happened."

"You think that the ceremony itself is dangerous?"

"How can we know? No human has seen a Vulcan wedding ceremony since Charles Tucker III participated in Commander T'pol's wedding ceremony back in 2154 and he left no record of what occurred there."

"Is that all that you came to say?"

"No. I wanted to tell you that once you go through with this… ceremony or trial or whatever it is, there is no coming back. If you get in over your head, we can't save you. Once you are married in the Vulcan way, you are subject to Vulcan law, and if they decide to cut off your head or make you a slave or a myriad of other barbaric laws that for some reason are still on the books as penalties for marriage offenses, we can do nothing to help you. There is still time to back out."

"I've made my decision."

"Sleep on it. If you do change your mind. I have the divorce papers already filled out in my office. Remember that if something were to happen to you. If for some reason you ended up hurt or killed, there will be consequences far greater than just one man and one woman. It will have interplanetary repercussions that we can not predict."

"We know that. That is why we chose to do this so publicly. Our marriage will be a concrete symbol of what our two worlds can do when they work together, but it won't be complete until I go through with that ceremony tomorrow. It will show all of Vulcan that humans are an intelligent species that can interact in a civilized manner. It will make it all real to them as it already is real to me and my husband. So be at least a little happy for me, Thomas. If you can't congratulate me, on finally finding someone to love, at least respect me for finding something important to stand for."

Thomas frowned and looked at the floor for a second. Then he rose to his feet and lifted his cup of tea. "Congratulations. Amanda. I wish you the best of health and happiness on your wedding day." He downed the rest of the tea in a long gulp and then reached out and shook her hand before leaving. After the door closed, Amanda collapsed down in her chair feeling more exhausted than ever.

* * *

 

Sarek caught her in the music room. The instruments hung high on the walls around them while cushions lined the floor for musicians and their audience. Amanda squealed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. His hand spread and he felt her up and down. She was wearing nothing under the thin robe. Nothing at all. The flames were rising inside him. He pushed up her skirt and rubbed his hand slowly across the soft skin there.

His voice rumbled as he spoke. "I am your husband, and you are mine alone. You will not let any other person touch you like I touch you now."

He lifted her with one arm and carried her to the edge of the stage laying her on a cushion.

"Say it!"

"Say what?" Amanda panted as she knelt on her hands and knees writhing under his intimate touch. He pushed the back of her head down as he pulled her close. Then he  rubbed his palm along the outside of her thigh, his hand warming her flesh.

"Who is your husband?" he asked.

"You are, Sarek of Vulcan!" Amanda cried as he firmly pushed her head down onto the pillow.

"And who else will you let touch you?" he asked pulling her body back to touch his skin as he caressed the inside of her thigh before thrusting his fingers across her folds in a firm rhythm that had her twisting and moaning in his arms.

"No one. No one but you."

He snaked his arm up the front of her chest holding her tight against his body as he slid inside her. She shuddered against him.

"Good!" he said his skin warming as if to burn her flesh away as his blood became fire and he spoke no more.

* * *

Amanda of Vulcan's body lay on the bed, her husband sitting still at her side. Her face serene, framed by hair white as Andorian snow. The mourners rose and filed from the room leaving Sarek alone with her body. They walked gently out of the house sending the message to Vulcan and the universe that Amanda was now dead.

The elder T'lan stood in the shadow of the gate listening as the bell was slowly tolled. Beside her stood Amanda's nephew, Charles Grayson. Inspired by her example, he had joined the diplomatic corps and become Earth ambassador to Vulcan.

"It is unfortunate that we could not preserve her Katra," T'lan said. "Amanda, wife of Sarek was an important part of Vulcan history, and we morn her loss."

"I will pass your condolences on to her family on Earth."

"If she had been Vulcan, we would have been able to preserve what she knew."

"But then if she was Vulcan, there would have been no reason to. Were you able to save any of her memories?"

"A few. Not enough to make a valid record."

"You will write it down, won't you?"

"Write it down?"

"So that it can be published. It is a human tradition. Memoirs. A record of a person's memories."

"But are you sure that you want to release them? Her unshielded thoughts? Some of them are of a sensitive and personal nature."

"It is the human way."

"I do not think that the council will sanction its release."

"But we will record it all the same. As you say, it is a piece of Vulcan and Human history. I believe that this diary will bring greater understanding between our two worlds precisely because it is personal. Humans need to know that Vulcans do have emotions. Humans need to know that Vulcan's can, in their way, feel love."

"Love. I have heard of the concept, but I do not truly understand it."

"Nor do I truly understand the Vulcan heart. In this, Amanda wife of Sarek will be our interpreter."

* * *

 

Sprawled across the cushions, Sarek held Amanda close to his chest. "It isn't easy for you, being the wife of a Vulcan. It is not the life that you were born to bear."

"And yet it is the life that I chose."

"I would die without you," Sarek said. "This is no poetry. If you were not here for me in my time, I would literally die."

"I know. That's why I'm here. That, and because I love you."

Sarek sighed.

"It's sentimental, I know."

"Yet it is logical. How could you be anything other than what you are? Amanda, she who must be loved."


End file.
